Confidence. I really can't say enough about it. It is one quality that I feel is inherently important to my student teaching at Evan Hardy. To stand up in front of students and teach them about various subjects and topics, I HAVE to be confident in the words coming out of my mouth. I HAVE to be confident in my own capabilities of maintaining order in the classroom. I cannot falter and come across as though I'm unsure about my own capabilities to run a classroom or I fear that I will lose a great deal of credibility as a respected teacher in the classroom. In reality, I do not have all that many years on the the older students in the school. So especially in relation to my Grade 12s, I strive to differentiate myself as someone who is less of a buddy and more of a facilitator of learning that demands a certain level of respect in addition to being very approachable by students.
To date, I feel that I have maintained a healthy level of confidence in front of the classroom. I have conducted a few largely informal lessons in front of both English and Native Studies classrooms. The most recent scenario involved me taking half of a Grade 10 English class under my guidance and going over their responses to a reading they had completed the day before. With only minutes of prep time available prior to diving into the lesson, the situation is a classic case of "running by the seat of your pants." For every bit excited I am to have the opportunity to have control over my own classroom of students, it can also be nerve wracking. The story they are learning is new to me too. Not to mention, the literary terms and devices the class is learning are oftentimes somewhat unfamiliar to me since I have not necessarily looked at them in many years. All this uncertainty has a tendency to lead to anxiety, and as I began to teach my lesson it began to take it's toll...
I could hear the uncertainty in my voice as I answered questions from students about the writing style of the articles. I died a little inside as I stammered to find the right words to say in framing the story for the class. I was worried I was on the verge of losing control of the classroom as I saw visions of all hell breaking loose with the students uniting together to turn on me. Fortunately, that did not happen. And it's all thanks to confidence. I pulled it together. I told myself that even though I was unfamiliar with the story, I DID understand it. And even though I maybe haven't looked at some of the literary devices that I was teaching in many years, I DO know what they are and I AM capable of helping these students better understand them too. So even though I maybe wasn't as well versed in the most effective way to answer student questions as I would have liked, I still remained confident in the answers I put forth. As a result, the vast majority of the students were engaged with the subject matter for the half an hour of allotted time that I had with them. I left the classroom having earned a positive rapport with the students. All it took was confidence in my own abilities. Next time I won't be so quick to second guess myself.
Borden,
ReplyDeleteYou make a GREAT point on the significance that aquiring and displaying confidence as a teacher has in the classroom environment. As well, there is something to be said about being an admitted "learner" along with your students, to prove that you are, as well, on a life-long journey of seeking out more knowledge. It lets students know that you can share in their struggles and frustrations, but also know the realization of accomplishing success and the reward that comes along with it.
Awesome post Borden; definitely made me go through a process of self-reflection!
I think what you've said here is a very big concern for beginner teachers, the confidence needed to stand up in front of a class and know something is huge. I think hearing your situation of fear and success would be very motivating for many others, I know it was for myself. There is something to be said for having strength in numbers and if we as teacher candidates know that we aren't alone in being terrified that we will get up in front of a class and forget everything we know, then we do experience it, we won't be overwhelmed.
ReplyDeleteI also think that students knowing that teachers are sometimes scared too would help them when they have to do presentations in class. If our students can understand that teachers are sometimes nervous when public speaking, then they may be able to overcome their fears and eventually stand up for their own values and voice their opinions.
Perhaps you should consider bringing this up in class as something we as a group can discuss and develop a way to work with our students to encourage the development of their confidence.